Finnish Trolls Make Great Pets

(photo by

Thursday, September 20th was a cool, crisp night and yet another I would be spending at B.B. King’s Blues Bar and Grill. It has become my second home lately. The goal was to see Finntroll live in concert and it was certainly achieved. I had been wondering if there would be any opening bands, since Finntroll had only been billed by itself, and much to my dismay there was but one opening band. Needless to say, this was one of those times I wish I had arrived late. This band (which I will not name to make sure they get as little press as possible to contain the tragedy that is their band) was horrible, to say the least. Of the 5 or so songs they played the last song was the only tolerable one. On the bright side, it made me hunger for Finntroll all the more. Once that ordeal was over with the wait for Finntroll had begun. The set list was in sight and was about as long as my forearm. I could tell then that the audience was in for a nice long night of pure Folk Metal.

A little background on the band first. Finntroll are actually from Finland, despite claims that they are from Sweden. This innacuracy stems from their song lyrics being sung in Swedish (the second native language of Finland, along with Finnish). The original vocalist Katla chose to sing in Swedish because “Swedish just sounds damn trollish” (also it is his first language). Their brand of Folk Metal is generally light hearted and includes elements from traditional Finnish folk music. Continue reading

Doris Thunder Tears on Her Experience Touring the U.S.

Doris with guitar
(photo by Dazvsemir)

After finishing their set, the members of the Taiwanese melodic black metal band Chthonic changed into civilian garb and dispersed through the crowd to enjoy the show during their September 12th appearance with Obituary at B.B. King’s. Doris Thunder Tears, guitarist and backing vocalist, was rocking out to Alabama Thunderpussy when we caught up with her.

Chthonic had played a show at B.B. King’s just recently, August 21st, and on that night they occupied a good slot. Today they were squeezed in as openers for three other bands. Doris complained that they didn’t even get a chance to play their favorite song, “Quasi Putrefaction” from the album Seediq Bale, their fourth, but the first to be released outside of Asia. Continue reading

The Xecutioner Has Come

John Tardy of Obituary. The least Cousin-It-like we could catch him.(photo by ETL)

Wednesday, September 12th, d42 and I sauntered into B.B. King’s at 8pm, yet unaware that we just missed Hemlock and Chthonic who apparently opened for Full Blown Chaos, Alabama Thunderpussy and Obituary.

We drank an overpriced beer each and hung around by the bar while Full Blown Chaos, a thrash metal band from Queens, roared on stage unspectacularly. They weren’t terrible, and I should give them their due—for hefty guys they sure were energetic. There was an issue with their drums in the midst of it all and Ray Mazzola (vocals) covered up by demanding to hear everyone’s death metal growl, which was fun. Their new album, Heavy Lies the Crown , is in stores now. Continue reading

Losing My Wacken Virginity (part 2 of 2)

Lots of pictures and lots of words. Part 1 is equally dangerous, so consider your browser warned. And now back to your regularly scheduled Wacken.

03.08.07 Friday At 6am I was awakened by loud death metal someone was blasting nearby. I pissed and went back to sleeping bag until 9am. Thankfully found pain pills. Unfortunately, there were only two left.

On this third morning at Wacken people seemed less interested in each other. There is really no sleeping late, although naps through the day are very doable. We were all up at about 9:30am, but we were all sullen, and I personally shook a bit with hangover. The .7 liter bottle of whiskey was grievously short of being even a 10th full.

I officially evicted Brett later in the day after he confessed to having have pissed in the tent. He used a cup, and promised that he didn’t miss at all while doing this in total darkness next to my sleeping form, but I still felt that he would be better off with his British friends. Continue reading

Midsummer Night’s Dream Coming to an End in Central Park

globus cover

The Summer of Love began with a tear-jerker tragedy of Romeo and his Juliet, and is about to finish up with an uproarious comedy of bewitchment and transformations, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Time is running out for you to partake of this gem. Sunday, September 9th is the last day Dream will be performed at Central Park for everyone who was there since about 7am, waiting faithfully for the free tickets.

Although I have seen Shakespeare in the Park performed with the sum total of a ladder and many fold-out chairs for props, the scenery director decided to take it up a notch for Dream. In the center of the stage stood a monolith of a tree with thick foliage and plenty of hardy branches upon which to lounge, make sweet love to an “ass” and perform acrobatics in general.

Continue reading

“Halloween” for the Uninitiated, Zombie Style

Of the three Rob Zombie flicks I’ve seen, I’d have to say that his vision of “Halloween” was my favorite. “House of 1000 Corpses” felt like a blatant rip-off of the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, down to the van full of kids picking up a crazed stranger (in Corpses’ case a sexy, but crazy hitchhiker instead of a retard). Depraved white trash à la “Devil’s Rejects” just isn’t my cup of tea, but “Halloween,” on the other hand, has some merit to it despite being a remake.

Before I go any further, I do wish to admit that I never saw the original Halloween in its entirety. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I was more of a Jason fan, and also because I didn’t find Michael Meyers terrifying. Then again, most of these slasher flicks are the same; trademark unstoppable entity of pure evil kills a bunch of sex-crazed teenagers, and only the “virgins” survive. Story is second to gore. Continue reading

Mythic, Perhaps, But Epic It Is Not

Mythology is a rich topic and there is much writing on the subject. At the American Museum of Natural History Mythic Creatures exhibit you will see a number of century-old books behind glass as well as a menagerie of quotes and quirky historical facts highlighted on information posts to make the scarcity of everything else less obvious.

But then, what can possibly be presented as proof of creatures classified as mythic? For each of the creatures separated into those of the deep, the earth, the air and power there are figurines and paintings as well as ancient (and no so ancient) texts and a video of available research such as the genetics laboratory where supposed Yeti hair is found, again and again, to just be matted horse hair. Continue reading