Bite Me: A Love Story — A review

Vampires have somehow become a very popular trend in the last few years, with everyone seemingly wanting to cash in on them. From “Twilight” to “The Vampire Diaries,” the undead have spread through the media and there is seemingly no escape from them. Christopher Moore’s latest book, “Bite Me: A Love Story,” also tells a story about vampires, but not in the traditional sense. No one in this book sparkles.

Finishing up the trilogy started fifteen years ago, which previously included “Bloodsucking Fiends,” and “You Suck: A Love Story,” Moore released “Bite me”  at a great time, with everyone wanting to read about vampires (more than pirates, or even ninjas). However, these are not your typical vampires. Yes, they will still die if exposed to sunlight, but they are not the old, romantic brooding types that everyone obsesses over. They are not hundreds of years old and trying to hide among the humans in their secluded castles. These are regular people who got turned and are living with it, one day at a time.

The story is mainly told through the eyes of Abby Normal, an underage goth girl that is, like all goth girls, obsessed with vampires. She serves as a daytime minion to Tommy Flood, a young writer from Illinois, and Jody, his girlfriend who happen to be vampires. The book mainly focuses on their group trying to figure out how to stop a group of vampire cats from killing all the homeless people in San Francisco. The plot, while ridiculous, serves as a vehicle for the character interaction, which is where Moore’s clever writing really shines. He writes dialogue which produces laugh out loud funny lines one after the next, without making it seemed forced.

A major problem with the book, however, is in its main narrator. Abby Normal is a teenage goth girl, and she talks like one. It’s a nice gimmick, but it wears out as soon as you get tired of reading paragraphs that start with “’kayso,” and overuse “OMG.” This doesn’t ruin the book, and there are sections told by a third person omniscient narrator when Abby isn’t around, but it does bring the reading experience down a little as I did have flashbacks to high school. It also makes the book feel a lot shorter than it actually is, since Abby sums up a lot of action in choppy paragraphs.

The characters have all been well established in the previous two books, so there isn’t a lot of growth here. By the end you feel not much has changed, but the circumstances of their lives. This leaves the reader with an empty feeling; wondering what happens after the story is over.

I feel like I have been a little harsh in this review, and that may be because I hold Moore to a higher standard than other authors (editor: because you have to when speaking of a man with such works under his belt as “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” and “Practical Demonkeeping). Almost all of his previous books were ones that I could not put down and they all put me in stitches. “Bite Me,” doesn’t reach this same level as the other books. It felt more like it was written as padding while he worked on getting his next book out. However, despite these flaws it is well worth reading, but it is nowhere near his best.


Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: William Morrow (July 24, 2007)

More books by Christopher Moore

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  1. The story seems to have an interesting angel. However, I’m so sick of all these Vampire stories, and their addicts, etc. I think the world needs a break from all this “stuff”. It seems much more readable than Twillight, for instance.

    You said that the fact that she starts her paragraphs (the Goth girl – although I don’t believe in labeling) with “OMG” and “‘Kayso,” doesn’t ruin the book. I beg to differ, I feel a book should represent literature positively, how is “OMG” a literary element/word now?

    I think you are trying to say that the author should’ve elaborated more towards the end, right? The worst feeling is that “empty, wondering” feeling, and personally it ruins my idea of the book,

    I think I should still give it a shot, as long as no vampires shine in the sun, I’m good, ha ha!

    • Fly
    • July 14th, 2010

    OMG and ‘Kayso fit her character well, when she’s talking. It’s very repetitive is the problem.

    And as for the end, it’s not so much lack of elaboration, it’s just very open ended. It’s clear he wants to use some of these characters in future books so he doesn’t really give them a final fate.

    • Steve
    • July 14th, 2010

    I agree with senor fly quite a bit. However I wouldn’t consider the book “padding” as much as “fan service.” At the end of “You Suck” everyone knew there would be a 3rd book in the series. By ending this book the way he does, Moore has allowed the characters to come back when he feels like they should (if they should at all)and not have the need for another vampire book looming over his head.

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