Archive for the ‘ Video Games ’ Category

FFX-2: Girly Propaganda from lazy programmers

A few years back, Square came out with its tenth game in the Final Fantasy series, cleverly titled “Final Fantasy X.” I picked it up, because, like I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy the series, and the Playstation installments 7 and 9 were good. I also thought that there was no fucking way they could make a game as bad as 8 ever again. Overall, it was a mediocre game with a confusing ending. Something about the main guy being the lost dream of a dead city, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t really get it then and I still don’t particularly care.

I can’t wait for the e-mails I get about that. God you people love to bitch about spoilers. Well, here’s a hint: if you haven’t played a game, don’t read articles about its sequel.


Speaking of spoilers, this guy framed Roger Rabbit.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about the mediocre game, I’m here to talk about its very crappy sequel. Square realized the money-making opportunities it had, as can be seen in the recent sales of final fantasy sex toys (ok, no, but they could have! and they still might), so they decided to start cashing in and making sequels where they aren’t needed. One could argue there is a need due to the confusing ending, and the fact that it wasn’t exactly a happy one, but I still think it could have been left alone. Continue reading

Video Game Review: Mega Man I and III for DOS

Back in the late eighties and early nineties, the NES was taking off as the home console system everyone wanted, and seemed to come out with great games almost every month. While this was going on, PC gaming was slowly developing in the background. With many memorable titles over the years and their larger capabilities for graphics and memory, they were gaining success.

However, PC games never reached the level of popularity of the NES and some companies saw this as an opportunity to make money. They ported their NES games to this smaller market with seemingly less games going for it, especially in terms of action games. Some of these companies decided to go the extra mile and make new games with the same idea, but completely revamped levels and enemies.

Capcom did this with their blue cash cow, Mega Man, back before he became as popular as he is today. You might think that this sounds like a good idea: Mega Man games were good and there were no spin offs vaguely connected to the series coming out every month. But they managed to do it wrong. Everything good about the game was thrown out, stepped on, set on fire, and what was leftover was violently raped by an 800-pound man. What they did put in the game in its place makes you think that a blind child with cerebral palsy made it. Continue reading