A Game of Writey Drawey at a White Elephant Party
Life in Portland is very unlike what I was used to in the Bronx. There are many differences, and I may go into them in another article, but here is a sample: A few nights ago d42 and I attended a White Elephant Party where we instigated a game of Writey Drawey with 6 other adults while drinking home made beer and apple cider. Aside from maybe playing a game with several strangers (such as, who can out-stare whom on the train before an explosion of violence or intense discomfort take everything to the next level), none of those things have ever happened to me before.
On the way to the party I kept trying to get d42 to explain the rules to me, I gathered that people brought wrapped gifts, which were placed in a pile Secret Santa style, and the participants would then all take turns either picking a wrapped gift or stealing a gift they liked from someone else. It sounded like a terrible game to play with strangers whose house you invaded and whose good graces you were hoping to stay in. I admit, I was nervous.
Everyone was incredibly amiable and mostly, I was the only dickhead stealing gifts. But that’s how I roll and that’s how I ended up with a Super Art Coloring Kit by Crayola, which I actually technically brought since d42 purchased our secret gifts on her own.
With a gift like that we of course started drawing pictures of cactuses and winged penises. Then I remembered a game someone once mentioned where folks take turns drawing and writing something on a piece of paper and it all ends up pretty hilarious. Someone at this particular party apparently played it before and quickly dubbed it Writey Drawey. I didn’t know much about it, and from the name alone would have to guess it is probably a children’s game and is probably played somewhat differently, but here is how we did.
We tore the hell out of some papers, made sure each person had a mini booklet of pages the same number as there were players (so for 5 players, each person has 5 pages), and set the writing implements in the center of our circle. We numbered our pages to keep confusion to a minimum. Each person then had about 2 minutes to draw something on the top page, flip it up side down, and pass it on to the next person. That person would then look at the picture, shift it to the bottom of the stack, write a probable caption, flip the whole stack upside down, and pass it to the next person. That person would do his or her best to illustrate the mad scribbling, and so on. Once we each got our initial picture back, we would present this booklet to the group and to general hilarity.
Although describing the game is not fun, playing it is, and some of the results should absolutely be memorialized. Everyone jealously packed away theirs, but here are mine!
I chose to start with a picture of a small child ready for the monster in his closet. d42 chose to focus in on the banana-like monster grin
How I Lost My Full-Body Callus at Spa Castle
Date: 6/13/11
Venue: Spa Castle, 131-10 Ave Collegepoint, NY 11356
Event: A day’s worth of sitting around in saunas, swimming, eating Korean food– to culminate in an assult by a tiny near-naked middle-aged Korean woman with scrubby pads.
The day began as many days of mine begin… with a crazy-ass workout where I do something previously assumed to be impossible (like lift 300lbs). Afterwards, I promised my aunt to go with her to a spa I’ve never heard of, but which she raved about. I’ve never been to a spa before, therefore this can’t be an objective comparison to other such establishments… but something tells me “other such establishments” are far and few between. You be the judge.
The place is called Spa Castle and is touted as a luxurious experience for an unusually low price. In fact, their slogan is “Welcome to Paradise.” $35 on a weekday ($45 on a weekend) will get you into 4 floors worth of hot baths, saunas, food courts, lounges, bars, massage chairs, rooftop bade pools with jets of waters beating different bits of you, a fitness center (for an extra $5) and an opportunity to be surrounded by naked women. If you’re a woman too. Sorry about that… I know some of you just got excited. The place is open from 6:30am until 11:30pm and you can hang out as long as you like once you pay the entrance fee. For more money you can also get a variety of treatments, mostly massages, more on that later.
It all began quite excitingly with me driving back and forth in front of the place not understanding where to park until my aunt finally saw me, and waved me frantically towards the front where an honest to god valet quickly sped off with my car to an unknown location at no charge (I got the car back, just so you know). We finally entered, paid, and were given little magnetic watches, each with a number that served as a locker key as a well as a way to keep a mounting tab without concerning yourself with things like money or cards, or pants in which to carry them. Read more »
What? There is a thing here?
Meandering Entertainer is not dead. It is only sleeping. A few articles are going to pop up over the next two weeks, I swear! And in July we will have a video-blog series about travel, so that’ll be full of disturbing just for you!
ETL, signing off, full of promises and allergens!
In lieu of idiot cat picture, here is my favorite bird puppet leaping!
Crossfit For Your Life (#1)
Last night, around 8pm, I was at the back of what looks like an abandoned building, in a courtyard with walls decorated with such aesthetically pleasing implements such as a rusty saw, and coils of rope. Objects strewn around me included tarps, pallets, and huge round boulders. I was watching folks, their forearms covered in gooey tree sap, lifting these monster rocks, throwing ‘em around, grunting, shivering in the wind, cracking jokes. Then it was my turn. My hands around the freezing stone, squeezing like hell with my forearms, I heaved, thought nothing would happen, and then felt it move, upwards! Where I wanted it to go! And upwards some more, and then up to my chest, and damnit! But I just lifted a 112lb stone, which two months ago I could barely move. A giggle, turning to mad-scientist-worthy guffaw leaves my lips in slightly hysterical ecstasy. Where the hell was I, you ask? Why, the gym.
aaaarrrggggggh!!!!muahahahahahaha. That's sound effects for you.
Terror Behind the Walls at Eastern State Penitentiary
If you’re anything like me, you probably love a good scare. You’ve most likely gone to at least one haunted house or hayride in your life, and it was either okay or it simply sucked. I myself have been to a few, but of the ones I’ve visited, Terror Behind the Walls is undoubtedly the best.
The event boasts six different attractions that take place within the dilapidated confines of the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, which has been featured on shows like MTV’s “Fear” and “Ghost Hunters” as an actual haunted place. Cited by various sources as one of the greatest haunted house attractions in the country, my cousin Double K and I decided to test the claim. After our early arrival to the City of Brotherly Love, we spent a little time perusing the streets before finally heading over to the event parking lot, located about twelve blocks from the Eastern State Penitentiary.
Final Fantasy 8 Sucks: A Review That’s Too Damn Late
I’m going to break my usual tradition and write about something mainstream today. It’ll come as a shock to most of you, not reading about some obscure ROM about gay sex. We’ll be back to that soon, don’t worry.
Like most of you nerds out there, I play video games in my spare time. I read the reviews and see what’s good and what sucks, and throw away all reviews that say “OMG THE GRAPHICS SUCKZ.” I grew up with Atari. I can deal with bad graphics; I could really care less if the main character is a blue dot or a fully rendered 3-D model of Estelle Getty in the nude (which would of course be the hottest thing ever). Sometimes though, reviews are just so wrong that it makes you want to hunt down the person who wrote it and burn crosses on their front lawn. This has happened to me a few times, but there is one game I loathe so much that to this day I still hate those bastards the gave it a positive review.
But when Atari tries to render Estelle Getty, it just isn’t the same.
It’s a well-known fact that a lot of fanboys have hard-ons for the Final Fantasy series. They’ll buy anything closely associated with it, from T-shirts to sex toys. So whenever a new one comes out, magazines and on-line sites hail this as the second coming of zombie Jesus. Everyone eats it up and Square laughs, counting their money. As for myself, I’ve been playing Final Fantasy since back in the days of the NES, before there was even a plot. So I know the games can be good, even with the weaknesses they all share, so there’s no need to e-mail me talking about how the game consists of pressing one button until you win. I know. I hate it myself, but for some reason I can’t stop. Read more »
Dr. Fly’s Love Column: Because Wearing a Lab Coat Makes Me a Doctor
The world is a messed up place. Everyone knows this, and everyone is looking to fix things up. Unfortunately they are all looking in the wrong places. Specialists like Dr. Phil get paid tons of money to give people the wrong answers, that usually only wind up making people feel bad about themselves. Whenever I see this, it hurts me, because I know I can do better. So I decided to take time out of my busy schedule of watching reruns of The Simpsons and making fun of fat people in Wendy’s to help some of these poor bastards. I figure I’m credible enough, not being an uptight asshole living in the 50’s, so let’s get started. Read more »
My Favorite Things to Read Online
Google Reader was supposed to make me read more news and become more aware of the outside world since I don’t watch TV or read hardcopy anything but books. That didn’t really work out because the only time I turn to the internet is when I want a diversion. So the following are the bits of the interwebz that bring weekly happiness to my life, more or less in order of awesomeness:
Sinfest - webcomic that’s both immature, hilarious, and heartrendingly philosophical. Updated daily.
Coilhouse - A blog/magazine focused on the weird and beautiful. Updated at least daily.
lifehacker - useful hacks for your computer as well as your life. Great DIY instructions that anyone can follow. Updated every few hours.
FreakAngels – a new webcomic by Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield. It’s set in a steampunk post apocalyptic world and I honestly don’t know if I love the story just yet, but the artwork is amazing. Updated every Friday.
XKCD - “A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.” The guy writing it is a little bit of a genius so I don’t always get where he’s going with it. But it’s often awesome. Don’t forget to mouse over the comic for a little aside. Updated Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Modblog - Not worksafe ever. Offshoot of BMEzine. Focus is on body modifications (piercings, tattoos, scarification, cutting, etc) of often extreme nature. Every now and then there are really great interviews posted. Overall it’s a black hole of disturbing/hilarious/inspiring imagery I generally can’t pull myself away from. Updated at least daily.
A Wacken Update
I may as well start this thing again! This is a comprehensive outline of Wacken preparations. For last year’s list of things I did as well as a short explanation of Wacken Open Air and why I have to go, click here.
Well, first off, you have to sacrifice something big enough for He-With-No-Name to take note and allow your credit card to be accepted at Metaltix. My Amex credit card kept getting rejected (something about a transfer not going through), and Metaltix did not deign to reply to any of my pleas or queries. Finally, I just used my Visa debit card and within days I got an e-mail informing me that my ticket was shipped. An agonizing month later I got my Wacken ticket (as well a set of bewildering coupons to a German McDonald’s), in the mail. Good thing too, since Wacken has been officially sold out since 3/8/08.
This year is going to be astonishingly good X 2, because I’m not going by my lonesome — fathful d42 got her ticket too. Good things have been happening for W:A:O also. They got the Live Entertainment of the Year Award this year which only confirmed their awesomeness. Now I’m just sorry I didn’t get an extra ticket since selling it on E-bay would probably pay for the plane ride there.
Transportation to Hamburg: So, I have my ticket, great. But that’s only half the battle. Now I have to afford plane tickets from NYC to Hamburg, and finally get from the airport to the festival grounds. The sites that have been more helpful with(cheaper) plane tickets so far are sidestep.com and studentuniverse.com. Read more »
The Sternum Piercing Saga
A surface piercing is one that is done on a part of the body that is not really hospitable to piercings, a place that is not flat and hangy (like the earlobe) or even concave (like the belly button). It requires the creation of a canal underneath the skin where the jewelery is inserted. The particular one I chose for myself is called the “sternum piercing” and is a fun misnomer. I’m not so nuts about body mods that I would put holes through my bones, but I like the shocked look it gets out of a person who knows where the sternum is.
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